Analytical

Bill's Brain
"Damn the consequences, give me the pen!"
Lewis Morris, signing the Declaration of Independence

Creative

"It's not partisan, it's personal." - Bill

Peeping Dick, Sneaking Wolf - January 2008
In my last posting I promised I would write about Dick Cheney’s desire to, shall we say, get to know you better (nudge nudge wink wink wiretap wiretap), and fill you in on the latest exploits of the Big Bad Wolfowitz. I’ve got a little break between projects right now (I love being self-employed!) so I’m back at the keyboard. Read more.

Assorted Thoughts and Musings - October 2007
Whew, what a busy couple months it’s been. There’s been no shortage of absurdity to write about but one thing after another has kept me away from the keyboard. I finally have a break in my “extreme home makeover” project so what am I doing? Relaxing? No!!! I’m writing. The only question is, where do I start? Well, more rats are leaving the sinking ship, George W. Bush descends further into his fantasy world, you were just volunteered to pay another $190 billion (surprise!), and the government sinks further into debt. And that’s not even the half of it. Read more.

Election 2006: Hope for America - November 2006
By now you’ve no doubt seen the results of the 2006 mid-term elections. Voters all across the country have rejected the lies, ignorance and incompetence of the current administration. In the process many Republican candidates, including high-profile ones like Rick Santorum, have lost their seats in the House and Senate. (I can’t say I’m sad to see him go.) There may be hope for America after all. Read more.

Goodbye Tom DeLay! You Won’t be Missed - April 2006
In a sign that maybe, just maybe, there is hope for America after all, Tom DeLay has announced that he won’t seek re-election to the US House of Representatives. Feel free to rejoice individually or in groups of your choosing. With DeLay’s announcement the Washington DC Corruption Index experienced its largest single-day drop since Nixon left the Whitehouse. True to form, while discussing his decision DeLay couldn’t resist the urge to engage in a little standup comedy, making hilarious statements like “I've never done anything while I've been in elective office for my personal gain.” Oh stop Tom! I’m laughing too hard! You’re killing me! Read more.

Tom DeLay Supporters: Help is Here! (Denice Shelburne This Means You) - March 2006
“DeLay supporters have mixed emotions.” That’s the headline I saw in the newspaper recently. When I read it my first reaction was to wonder how anyone could possibly have mixed emotions about Tom DeLay. Are they having trouble deciding between strongly disliking him or outright despising him? What other choices are there? And just who are these people? Read more.

Shoot First, Evade Questions Later - February 2006
Well, at least they’re consistent. Once again Dick Cheney has gone off half-cocked and used lethal force against a sovereign entity based on flawed intelligence. At least this time the collateral damage was limited to one of Cheney’s associates and the effect on the US Treasury should be minimal. And unlike his last misadventure, Cheney will probably have an exit strategy for this one. But what does all this have to do with 9-11, George Bush’s bad behavior, and Bill’s theory of fractal behavior? Read more.

Tom DeLay Arrest Warrant Issued - October 2005
According to the Associated Press a Texas state court has issued an arrest warrant for one of our favorite political swindlers and all-around scumbags, ex-House majority leader Tom DeLay. What's that you say, could this mean there's a tiny bit of justice that still survives in America? Yes, it appears so, and in Texas no less. DeLay is expected to be booked soon and I'm hoping that we can get a copy of his jailhouse photo so we can show our support by putting it on T-shirts, posters, buttons, coasters, little sweaters for your cat, stuff like that. Read the story here.

Compromising FEMA, Endangering New Orleans - October 2005
Washington Monthly has compiled this informative timeline that illustrates how the Bush administration laid the foundation for the flooding disaster in New Orleans. Read it and weep. (Better yet, if you want to help your country and protect your fellow citizens, read it and stop voting for Republicans.) Bush-FEMA Chronology.

Bill O’Reilly Goes O’Crazy - August 2005
I hereby declare that Bill O’Reilly is officially O’Loony. He’s lost it. I’m not sure that he ever really had it, but if he did, it’s gone now. On a recent Faux News show O’Reilly criticized the ACLU, saying "If the ACLU ever wants money, it should contact the Al Qaeda fundraisers. No organization in America enables terrorism as much as the ACLU, period. It is putting your life in danger. And that is no exaggeration." Yep, that ACLU, they’re really putting your life in danger. They lie to you and push their “US world domination – we want oil” agenda at all costs. They go out and invade countries that didn’t attack the US, like Iraq, turning them into a training ground for terrorists and inciting unprecedented hated of the US, which creates even more terrorists who are more determined than ever to kill Americans. Then they try to recruit you to go fight in their war (and be wounded or killed) while they neglect even basic homeland security planning to protect you in the event of another terrorist attack. And on top of that, they roll back pollution regulations so that an additional 6,000-9,000 Americans a year will die from pollution-caused illness, they ignore the global warming that causes killer heat waves like the one that killed over 35,000 people in 2003, and they eliminate policies that protected your safety so their big-business campaign donors can make more profit. And they hate your freedom too! They’ve fought to give the president the power to strip you of all your rights and imprison you forever with no charges and no trial! Those damned ACLU bastards! They’re so anti-American it makes my teeth hurt!!! They ... hey ... wait a minute, it’s the Bush administration that’s done all those things, not the ACLU. Never mind.

House Energy Chair Attempts to Intimidate Climate Scientists - July 2005
The chair of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, Texas Republican Rep. Joe Barton, is attempting to intimidate climate scientists whose research shows evidence of global warming. He is asking them to provide their raw data, and has also asked the National Science Foundation for details of all grants and other funding given for climate research. And of course Barton is unbiased when it comes to the question of global warming, right? Of course! He’s only received $1.84 million from the oil, gas, coal, nuclear, electricity and chemical industries since 1987, more than any other member of the House. Douchebag. Read the whole story at http://www.bushgreenwatch.org/mt_archives/000280.php.

Former Republican Committee Co-Chair to Head Corp for Public Broadcasting - June 2005
Patricia Harrison, former co-chairwoman of the Republican National Committee (RNC), has been named the new president of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. The appointment is regarded as a victory for conservatives who want to address what they consider to be a “liberal bias” in public broadcasting. Oh boy, this ought to be good. Bill’s Brain ponders the concept of “liberal bias” and speculates on the changes that might be coming soon to a TV near you. Read more.

James Sensenbrenner - Asshole Extraordinaire - June 2005
Pardon my language, but there’s really no other way to describe Judiciary Committee Chairman James Sensenbrenner of Wisconsin (Republican, of course) after what he did at the recent Patriot Act hearing. I was fortunate enough to see the end of the hearing on CSPAN and I just couldn’t believe what I saw. Sensenbrenner, who chaired the event, violated the Rules of the House and was unbelievably rude, disrespectful, and abusive toward the people testifying and the other members of the committee. In short, he was a real A-hole. (I think my nickname for him will be Sphincterbrenner.) Watch the video and you’ll see what I mean. People of Wisconsin, does this guy really represent you? If not, you may want to elect someone else next time because this jerk is giving your state a really bad name. Read more.

Generalized Organizational Psychosis - May 2005
President Bush and others in his administration have frequently acted in ways that have jeopardized the integrity of our government, compromised the safety of our country, and threatened the rights of the American people. Bill’s Brain takes a look at this phenomenon in more detail and discovers that the Bush administration’s actions have much in common with people suffering from psychological disorders. Read more.

Republicans Going Nuclear? - April 2005
Already punch-drunk with power, some Republicans in Congress will apparently stop at nothing to get even more. Forget about the vision of our nation’s founders of a system of checks and balances designed to prevent tyranny of the majority, forget about 229 years of American history, forget about debate, compromise, and respect, they want a degree of control that can only be described as tyrannical. Read more.

NEWS FLASH: A Public Service Announcement - April 2005
OK, I'm getting REALLY tired of all the Republican idiots who keep criticizing judges and saying things like "the courts no longer respect human life." (Tom DeLay, that includes YOU!) For their benefit, and to vent our frustration, we present this Bill's Brain Public Service Announcement. If you've already read the announcement and still don't understand the concept, try the Enhanced Version.

Thoughts on the Terri Schiavo Case - April 2005
In which Bill’s over-active brain spews forth a series of thoughts on this sad situation. Sticky lips, sleeping through class, activist judges, memo mania, defending life (or is it death?), hypocrisy out the wazoo, lawlessness, and more! Read more.

Why Did Republicans Get So Involved in the Terri Schiavo Case? - March 2005
Was it just good-intentioned concern for Terri, or was there something more at stake? When there’s this much public posturing and pontificating it’s a safe bet that there’s a larger agenda at work. (Updated: Proof that I was right.) Read more.

The Mysterious Death of Raymond Lemme - March 2005
Raymond Lemme, a member of the Florida Inspector General's office, was investigating charges that a Republican representative had requested vote-rigging software for electronic voting machines. He reportedly found evidence of corruption that went "all the way to the top," but never got a chance to present that evidence. He was found dead in a hotel bathtub. Was it suicide, or did someone want to stop Mr. Lemme from talking about what he had discovered? Read more.

Bernard Kerik: “Doin’ It” While NY Burns - March 2005
Apparently former Homeland Security nominee Bernard Kerik liked the whole concept of "fiddling while Rome burns," but he was unable to play the violin. Undeterred, he drew upon his good old New York ingenuity and took the idea to a whole new level. According to the New York Times, Kerik, who is married and has two children, used an apartment overlooking ground zero as a meeting place for an extramarital affair. And if that weren’t bad enough, the apartment that he used for his illicit trysts had been donated for use by tired police and rescue workers who were working at ground zero. You gotta love those Republican "family values," don't ya?

Congress Supports Religious Discrimination - March 2005
Get in the wayback machine, roll back the clock, and kiss decades of civil rights advances goodbye! The House has passed a bill that allows organizations to discriminate against job candidates based on their religious beliefs. Read more.

Are All Republicans Bad? - February 2005
Surprisingly, no. The problem is the radical crew of Republicans that wield power in the Bush administration and their supporters. This is a group that will do anything to gain and retain power, and who believe that they have the God-given right to force their will onto others. Read more.

Social Security Smear Campaign - February 2005
Get ready for a new smear campaign against the AARP for opposing Bush's plan to destroy ("privatize") Social Security. And guess who's behind it? The same wonderful folks who brought us those charming Swift Boat hit pieces. Read more.

Republicans Chant “Social Security has got to go!” - February 2005
A group of Republicans were heard chanting "Hey, hey. Ho, ho. Social Security has got to go!" on CNN, and Senator Rick Santorum says "it is time for a Republican solution to Social Security." A Repulican "solution" to Social Security? That sounds just great considering how well all the other Republican "solutions" have worked. (NOT!) Read more.

34 Scandals of George W. Bush's Adminstration - January 2005
A great Truthout article about, you guessed it, 34 scandals involving the Bush administration. http://www.truthout.org/docs_05/011905D.shtml

More to come, including:

Lack of Ethics
"Republican ethics" is an oxymoron.

Screwing the Little Guy
They do it so much they must be trying to become Catholic priests or something.

When Did Torture and Bigotry Become Republican "Values?"

Must Deceit and Treachery Always Overcome Truth and Integrity?
Do people of honesty and integrity stand a chance against a party that's willing to do anything to win?

The Republican Dictionary
The Republicans have developed a thoroughly convoluted and deceptive language, usually saying the exact opposite of what they're doing, in an effort to mislead the public. We'll bring you a handy guide to help you take they say and turn it into what they mean.

Extremist Republicans and Terrorists - Why Do They Hate Our Freedom?