Creative Writing by Bill
It's Not All Political Vitriol!
Well, most of it is, but funny things come out of Bill's brain too. Sometimes he
even writes them down and shares them with others.
Bin Laden
Killed by Spinach? -
September 2006
The Bill’s Brain team of cracked … er … I mean crack reporters (or maybe
they’re just on crack?) is hot on the heels of a story that Osama bin Laden may be
dead. (Editor’s note: I’m not sure how they do that, get “hot on the heels
of a story” that is, because the last time I checked stories didn’t have heels.
Or even feet. I guess that’s one of the things they teach you in journalism school.
Oops, time for the editor’s coffee break …) Read more.
Cow Manure Eyed as Alternate Fuel
Source - August 2005
The
San Jose Mercury News reports that cow manure is being evaluated as a source of energy.
Now this is a promising development. According to my calculations, the bullshit emanating
from the Bush administration alone would supply the US with more energy than we’re
currently getting from Iraqi oil, and a lot less people would have to die. Read more.
Former
Republican Committee Co-Chair to Head Corp for Public Broadcasting - June 2005
Patricia
Harrison, former co-chairwoman of the Republican National Committee (RNC), has been named
the new president of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. The appointment is regarded
as a victory for conservatives who want to address what they consider to be a
“liberal bias” in public broadcasting. Oh boy, this ought to be good.
Bill’s Brain ponders the concept of “liberal bias” and speculates on the
changes that might be coming soon to a TV near you. Read more.
The "Pick a Pope"
Contest Has Ended! - April 2005
Thanks to everyone who played!
Those of you who have been watching the "holy smoke" will be pleased to know
that the winner is German Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who has taken the pope-name Benedict
XVI. Several readers wrote to say that they felt Michael Jackson was a strong candidate
because of his internationally-known work with children, but the word from our sources
inside the conclave is that in the end Cardinal Ratzinger beat Jackson in both the talent
and swimsuit competitions, clinching the title for the Germans. For more on choosing your
own “pope name,” the significance of the cardinals’ choice, and how the
conclave got its name, just click Read more.
A Guide to Business Travel
Expenses - I wrote this tongue-in-cheek guide a long time ago, way back in
1992. If you're a business traveler and your company has gone through one of those
"we've got to cut travel expenses" phases, you'll appreciate this.
Chain Letter -
Don't you hate annoying chain letters? This is another old piece, a parody of an actual
chain letter. |
